I'm three!

It's been just about 3 years since the shaving, and I've all but forgotten everything about it. In fact, I primarily utilize it as an attention-getting story. Lol. Looks like it was time for a refresher.

Enter Real Simple magazine's 3rd annual life lessons essay contest. I really couldn't come up with stories about other risks I've taken, so it seemed like head-shaving would be the one. I also didn't actually do any writing beforehand, although I started planning for it 7 weeks out. Fail again. I wonder how much I've really learned in the last 3 years. It seems like so close, and yet so far away.

So updates on the pate: It's just now finally reaching shoulder-blade length, and I HATE MY HAIR. I can't imagine or remember it ever looking nice long. I got really addicted to the cute cut I had in the last photo I posted, and I keep wishing I had the balls to cut it back to that length again. The thing is, now I'm sorta planning a wedding for waaaay off in the future (like, a year) and again, my mental idea of a bride includes long, romantic hair. I guess here comes the gamble: Will I even be able to simulate amazing romantic long hair? And to be honest, does that even reflect who I really am any more?

Or what if I cut it off, and cry because I'm an ugly bride?

Clearly I have some lessons to re-learn on giving up vanity. :P

P.S. Shaving my head permanently made me start breaking out a lot. I blame the fact that I touched my head/face all the time. Oh well, time for a diet and lifestyle change!

So much has happened in the last three years - total dip away from the hyperactive fervor I display for my faith at the time, ended relationship, ended another relationship, made brand-new friends, hit rock bottom, came back up for air by grace, and explored all sorts of jobs and non-jobs. I think one thing I wished for did indeed come true... "If I can shave my head, I can do ----- too."

Not to be super spiritual again - for I have mostly abandoned that method of public declaration - but the following comes to mind:

He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

If hair is traditionally a symbol of human strength, per Samson, then I was much better off without it.

P.S. No idea if I'll actually complete the essay, but I think I might make a Hail Mary attempt and write it up, just for the sake of completing something I plan to do.

Hair update, long time due

Happy anniversary!

Well, I knew September 30th was supposed to be significant for something, but I guess it completely slipped my mind that it marked a full year since I shaved my head. I have a very short memory span, I guess. :P It seems like soooooo long ago already.

Funny anecdote from the weekend: One of the bridesmaids at Alex and Teresa's wedding is engaged to a guy I know from my early UT days. I mentioned the connection to her and she said my name sounded familiar and wondered what my last name was. Since her fiance, Melvin, was the one who first put the head-shaving notion into my head, I said, "Kat Fan... I'm the one who shaved my head?" Then she said, "Ooohh, yeah!!" and proceeded to look abashed. Upon coaxing, she revealed that he'd told her about a girl who'd said she'd shave her head if he did it... his comment was, "She shouldn't've done it." I was very entertained. No worries - I'm not offended or upset... I've gotten plenty of comments like that this past year.

It's been a fantastic year for me. I'm so, so glad I did it despite everyone's admonishments otherwise. Most significant on my "pro" list was meeting/getting to know Hena and Timbo. Both of them are now really close friends I can't imagine living without... they've both mentioned that while they "thought I was cool" from a distance or whatever, they prob wouldn't've talked to me without the shaved head... so there you go. I don't regret the shaving at all, but even if I had wept bitterly for my hair every night, I'd have done it again in a heartbeat if that's what it took to make either of these friendships happen. (I can see Timbo doing his little hand gestures... darn)

Along those lines, I really liked how many people would talk to me just because I looked "different." Maybe it's weird pride, but I liked not being "just another Asian girl" with the generic long straight hair. (Mine isn't straight anyway ;p) I've always been different (homeschool, etc. etc.) and I am starting to appreciate it more, and I like looking it. I donno why.

While researching "worthy causes" for which to solicit donations (which I never did, come to to think of it), I came across some literature on human trafficking, and now my vague "interest in human rights" has some direction to it.

I also learned that it's okay to do what I want to do. I'm a big girl now and can make decisions for myself. Obviously, this can be taken too far, but I'd like to think that I have reasonable common sense. :P No, but without going into details, this was a huge breakthrough for me and boosted my confidence in a lot of obscure ways. ;p I really needed this, and I think I have become a much stronger person for it. I made a reasoned decision and followed through on my "convictions" (I hesitate to use that word... it sounds so Christian-y and this wasn't a religious decision at all) despite a lot of protests to the contrary. I learned to not listen to people whose opinions should not matter so much to me (i.e. casual acquaintances, boys who tell me I look much better with longer hair), I learned to respectfully disagree with people who do matter to me, I learned to live with the consequences of what I chose to do, and I learned to love myself regardless of how I look. Haha.

Also, I really feel like I behaved completely differently... it's sort of hard to explain, but hair makes a big difference in how you view yourself (lol, brilliant, eh?). I felt like I was a completely different person in a lot of ways, because I've always had long hair - I'd catch glimpses of myself in mirrors and marvel that that was me. I felt more free to explore a lot of options I'd never considered before. I learned to ask, "Why?" or "Why not?" to things I'd never considered before (God included). I've never found that questioning process to harm me yet (well, the consequences could but I've thus far found the reasoning to be a great experience).

I liked waking up and looking different every morning. The worst time for me was probably when it was almost long enough to look cool, but not. These last few months have surprisingly been the hardest on me. My hair texture is so crunchy (Michael calls it "character") that it will really hold whatever shape it's given... so I have mad bed head. It's cool, but often hard to tame for interviews and the like.

I've discovered that I really love short hair.

I got a haircut yesterday and probably have my favorite style yet from this past year. I found a new stylist I love. My bangs are growing the way I want them to (a small, unexpected bonus from the shaving!). I like my side pieces. I LOVE the back... I need a pic of that.

Hi, it's me. I'm Kat. A short-haired Kat. ;p

More hair snippings

I got tired of the mullet bud that started sneaking back in, so I hacked it up some.

Haircut

Yep, I got one! :)

Mullet, before and after!

While driving to the Performing Arts Center the other day, I decided to do what all the other kids are doing these days (the ones 10 years younger than I am ;p). Except instead of having a tiny slim point-and-shoot, I had a Canon 30D and a 24-70 L lens. Yep, I'm not only soooo safe on the road, but I am also a huge attention whore. But I am at least going to be an honest one and not pretend Photoshop is the new acne medication. Plus, how could I not show you pictures of me in teal? 'Cuz I love teal.

I learned this trick of driving with my knee from Oliver. I think it's generally something tall people/people with long legs do, but I have figured out a way to do it (by shoving my seat way back). ;P 'Cuz it's super convenient.

Hey, my nose is much pointier than it looks from... any other angle... haha!

I seem to see Helen making this face a lot. Scope out the lovely laundry behind me.

Again, a Helen face.

A me face

Disgusted face

The smirk I use to scare people with. Mostly used it on Oliver, because he did a lot of things that would annoy me. But instead of freaking out (which he enjoyed), I started smirking at the stuff he did so he would frown and stop doing it. ^^

Breaking out of late... no sleep.

Yesterday was a day for teal, I guess.

I think my profile looks like my dad's. Check out the 'tail. What should I do with it? Hack it off?

And here I am walking through the parking lot toward Escapade... lalala, photos of that to come.

And then today I got a haircut on my way back up north from my clinic physical (for study abroad). The mullet was getting a bit much for me.

My hair stylist was super snarky to me just now and made some rude comments about people who do walk-ins, etc. and how she can't possibly know what I wanted since she just met me. But I sucked it up until I was calmer (instead of snapping about how it was her job to try to understand what I wanted) and talked nicely, and let her ignore me for a few minutes. Then when I was in a better frame of mind, I asked her about her tattoos (which made her a lot nicer to me, haha). Then I gave her a nice tip anyway. Sometimes people just have bad days, I guess. ;p She almost made mine.

Anyway, I'm proud of myself for not biting her head off. I'm capable of it/I also hate being passive aggressive when it comes to hurt - but I think I did the right thing.

Six months

I regularly wear the hair at the nape of my neck in a little 'tail now, because otherwise I just have a pretty kickass mullet.

Post #60

I'm never going to be famous, because I can't remember to update these things. I also don't like constraints. ;p There are almost always pics on Flickr, though.


Here I am at... Oh, I've given up counting days or weeks (I'll be a terrible pregnant woman) but I'm around 5.5 months (of hair growth, not baby growth) right now. I liked how my hair turned out this one day. I keep meaning to cut it but have no time nor inspiration photos, so it just keeps growing. It's long enough to tie in the back now - just a wisp... less than I've had since babyhood - but it's tied!!

Today my mom flew into Austin... I'd forgotten about my hair, so when she stroked it I thought she was just messing with it. I think she was fine with it. ;) Then she went off on a tangent about how the women in my family have good thick heads of hair. Nice.

Leap Hair!

Bwahahahaha!

Day 150

Day 152

Yesterday I went in to get my replacement ID... Yerp, gonna have short hair on this next pic.

A month from the last one.

Just a week short of 4 months

Which, incidentally, will be my BIRTHDAY.

January

3.5 months!

Merry Christmas!!

Told my mummy about my head (or more like, posted a pic on Xanga and waited for repercussions to trickle down)...

Thank you, Wongs, for loving/hosting me!! <3

Pics from Owiber

Gratuitous shot of the boy who set up the studio lights, opening his "present" from me:

Sorta drained

I think my general state of exhaustion has resulted in a reluctance to maintain this blog. Also, my hair shows decently littler change now; I think I've done OK documenting it for the first two months or so... hopefully I can keep it updated weekly or something. I still take Webcam shots when I remember to.

I miss my hair more now that I've got some formal/interview events to go to. It really does look nicer to just... look like a girl... I miss it, haha. Yesterday I was genuinely a bit sad about how I look in a dress shirt and dress pants. I look dykish. ;) Oh well. It's OK - it is coming back in. Lots of good analogies to be had there, hah... I miss feeling girly and pretty and head-turning. There! The truth is out!

Everyone deserves a hiatus

Sorry, I pretended I was on vacation. Oh, wait, I am!

Anyway, I've got some pics:

I have more, somewhere on Flickr; will dig them out later. Hope everyone had a great holiday. Thankful for something?

I'll tell you this: I camped out for Black Friday and was ever so thankful for ever having had hair ... it really keeps you warm.