We're leaving our teens behind

a.k.a. "Oliver has a boyfriend!"

Attempt to show off a nice new T-shirt with 80s radness on it... which was followed by a boobie shot I won't share...

I can cross just one eye!


Today's newsworthy news is this:
The top song when Oliver was born was "Total Eclipse of the Heart," which is awesome rad
My top song, however, was "Like A Virgin" by Madonna. Ew.

Day... 18?

I miss you, baby

Today I went to Express with Sam to take advantage of a sale they were having. There was actually some semi-good stuff, but I went planning to get more dress shirts for job-hunting. Well, in the changing room I found some stuff that looked good on me - from the neck down. A bit higher up, it kinda looked like a joke. Hahaha. I had a small pang then. *shrug* I'm over it. ;)

My mom called. "Do you still have hair?" Me: [split second pause too long] "Um, yes, of course." Her: "A lot?" Me: "Yes..." Technically... this is true. Lol.

I have been taking flaxseed oil sporadically for hair growth. Well, it works. Very well. Not just on my head but on my eyebrows and legs, too! So today I tried this random Sally Hansen waxing kit. OH MY GOODNESS, it's a mess. Hahaha. But I like ripping hair off my eyebrows - so much faster than plucking. I'm probably a masochist. B-)

Sweet 16

LOL GET IT? NOT ONLY IS IT 16 DAYS IT IS ALSO OCTOBER 16! And Oliver is 16! J/k, but it is his birthday.

Wow, I am so lame late at night.

It's growing quite rapidly, thanks to PR tips on flaxseed oil and such, which I have of course already forgotten to take multiple times.

15 days!

Last night I dreamed I decided to get married. It wasn't until I was standing in the foyer waiting to walk down the aisle that I realized I had nothing to pin my veil to. I bawled. I then woke up and laughed, thanking my lucky stars that I hadn't been so silly as to get married on a whim. (I don't care about the man, it would so seem - never even took a peek at his face in my dream)

It's only been 15 days. Quite apparently, if I were in that movie "30 Days of Night" or whatever (which I haven't seen), I would not be able to survive because that's a really long time for me.

I made an "online friend" thanks to katy~* - she shaved her head for her friend who was undergoing chemo, I b'lieve, and she looks good with it! That gives me hope. Haha. It's OK; I'm OK with looking chewed. XD

Remember how I said I was making a conscious effort to look girlier? I think I gave up on it. I ran around all day in a boys' white muscle T and jeans. I don't think I'm helping myself out much here. Oh well...

Weekend catch-up

Sorry for no picture. Olivia and Garrick were in town this weekend, yay!

A cheat - you can't see if I have anything on my head. Maybe that dark is ALL my hair. Sorry if I look wacked. It was taken at 5 a.m.

Yes, I drink like mad. Root beer. Yes, I broke my resolution. ;)

Hehehehehe.

My hair actually bothers me a tiny bit this week. Or maybe the lack of it. I've completely forgotten about the cut and I guess whenever I do remember, there's a tiny, tiny pang there. Meh, it'll be back soon enough.

We went to the Lacoste store in the Domain where I tried on this hat and liked how it looked. But look at that price tag. Why? I can see why some people want to learn to knit... heck, I wanna.

Since we're talking about shopping, Olivia and I both liked this jacket. $225, though, will put me halfway toward a very nice lens. Sigh.

Oh, I was supposed to ONLY talk about hair here? Gee, sorry. ;)

Then in that case... hair is now long enough to pinch. ;)

Mwahahahaha

11

Blogged out.

Here, have a picture I shot. UGL. Fluorescent lighting. Library chair. I like how Asian-studio it looks. Here's how I did it.


Meeeeeeee for the day

Sorry

Day 10

It's a little hard to keep up with lengthy blogging solely on the topic of hair on a daily basis. I keep another blog (a bit obsessively ;p) and I guess that one's a much more rounded view of my life in general - this is the Horcrux in which I have chosen to deposit my hairless soul, and apparently that part of me is quite tiny. Or something.

Anyway, as you can see, the hair is growing back quite fast despite my promptly having forgotten to take vitamins/etc. for it like three days after the deed was done. Hah.

Interesting thought - you know how people always say they recognize others - killers, actors, characters in movies, whatever (like that scene in War) - don't they very technically mean they recognize the skin, bone and hair around the actual blobs? I dunno, it sounds gruesome and stupid to think of, no doubt. But it's true. It's also like saying "I can recognize her face from a distance." Have you ever stopped to think of how much of that face (at least on girls) is framed by hair? Would you REALLY recognize them from a distance without hair? In a sea of hairless heads?

Anyway, it's really late and I've been "sick" for a week and a half now (terrible allergies - to mold, maybe? They're KILLING ME) so maybe I shouldn't say this, but I feel like it and it's hair-related.

Yesterday I "saw" my ex for a bit - we had the same journalism interns' meeting. We haven't really crossed paths in over a year and the few times we have have been very intense and pretty depressing. Anyway, he was one of those dudes who is really into long hair and liked it a lot on me - down, at that. He hadn't seen me even with the short bob, I don't think, and didn't really know about me shaving my head. (He'd been against the idea when we were dating :P) He pretty obviously didn't notice me when he was standing in the hallway because he came up right next to where I was sitting on the floor, stood there and started talking to classmates. I don't think he realized it was me until I stood up a while later to move into the classroom (he was behind me, so we never really saw each other's faces - just I, for a split second, saw him when he was walking down the hall and I just dropped my head and never looked up. I don't know why). He still might not have noticed if the intern supervisor didn't speak to me and comment on how I'd cut my hair. Heh, well, after that, he went hard left and I went hard right and when the meeting was over we both dashed out the door in opposite directions.

It's just interesting that someone who presumably should know almost everything about me - my height, my size, my profile, my silhouette, my voice - didn't recognize me at all. Gee, I know I had big hair but do I really look that different?

Stopping to think about it... yeah... I do.

*shrug*

I've toyed with the idea that maybe this haircut represents something like purging him out of my system, but the conclusion is that that's stupid. Haha. I feel much freer from things after, I dunno... not this sort of thing. Haha. Maybe freer from shampoo. Not that I feel like I currently have a ton of baggage or whatever. Just... oh, I won't try to make sense. It's so late.

Day 9

So I have mentally compared this experience to childbirth a few times (although sort of in reverse) - I was all jittery the day I was going to get it shaved, but then realized that it's in no way as life-changing as having a kid or even getting pregnant. Assured, I was then able to carry on my merry way. Now my day-by-day updates are sort of like a pregnancy follow-up thing.

Today's announcement: um, hair clumps into chunks now?

You know you're tired when...

...You make a blog post to completely the wrong blog and don't realize it until you notice the layout looks different. Which, of course, is NOT something I just did. PSH!

So since this experiment is not about me coming out or anything, I have noticed the need to make a conscious effort to be slightly more feminine. I tend to be very much of a jeans-and-T-shirt girl, and while I wouldn't exactly call myself a tomboy any more I don't have a lot of pinky-pink clothing any more. I never before thought my wardrobe was too androgynous, but hey... no hair means I must supplement my femininity in other ways, eh? I guess.

...Eh, I'm too lazy. ;) Jeans and T-shirts are so easy.

In other news, my bald head is in the news, ironically in a piece of wild art for the Texan on the Burma issue from that rally I went to (with only 6 people). But likewise, being lazy, I am far too sluggish at 5 a.m. to scan it for you or anything. Maybe later.

My steady stream of photos proves that only the insane shave their heads.

I did take a bunch of pictures this weekend, if you're bored and want to see... But they're not OF me.

*yawn*

I'm so sleepy. I've been coughing all day.


Day 7, aka One Week, in which my hair has doubled its length. Cool beans.

Me and my skin

Hm, me getting better with Photoshop last year meant that it started becoming my makeup of choice. They say that you can present yourself however you choose over the Internet because you can hide whatever flaws you have and present yourself in the best possible light. It's true when it comes to my face. I profess to be decently self-confident, yet I like getting rid of my awful dark eye circles, zits and other such wonderful flaws.

Not having hair has kinda changed that. I gave up on shampoo, harsh facial cleansers, and have been using water, baking soda, and the like. Works just great so far! (I should start up my olive oil regimen again since my skin's been really dry) I don't really mind how I look in the mornings any more. There's not much I can change. I really like that. It's kinda "Here I am, take or leave" and that's great. Very freeing.

It also leaves me a lot freer to make really ugly weird faces in pictures. I figure, "I'm bald. How much worse could I look?" I'm gonna be interested in seeing how this may or may not change when the hair comes back in. (I was wondering if the part in my hair would change because of the hair clipping... but probably not, because I've checked and my cowlick still makes my hair grow out in a slant)

I've gotten a ton of positive comments lately. People will interrupt their elevator conversations to tell me how fabulous/fantastic they think it is. (It's happened twice in the same elevator in one day, same older faculty-talking-to-younger-TA kinda deal) I think the attention whore in me likes that, but that's not the point of this experiment... and I try to remember that. But it's really kind of people to say such things, to go out of their way to break the usual polite silence barrier and try to affirm me.

Funny, huh, how an outward thing can draw so much attention? Even when people aren't commenting, I'm taking note of all their responses. It makes me wonder how many times a day I subconsciously gauge other people's reactions to me and how much I depend on their approval or disapproval for my actions.

My TA, the one who hates me, has pointedly made no comment about my radically different looks. It amuses me a little. I think he would like to forget that I exist. :)

My stubble has already doubled in length, I think. I had Andrew clip it to 3mm, which is just over 1/10 of an inch. It's definitely longer than that by now. Let's do some math... If hair grows around 3/4-1 inch per month (let's make it easy and say 1 inch), then it grows ~ 1/4 inch every week or so, which averages out to around ~6.4 mm per week, which is what, let's average again... 1mm/day? It's so awesome how I can actually feel it. (I pinch it all the time)

...Blogspot gets a bonus thumbs up from me for saving these drafts automatically. My MacBook has been randomly dying and I can't figure out why. Anyways... I uploaded pics of the shaving process, so here comes a picture-heavy post.

First I hacked my hair shorter with scissors; apparently I have a ton of hair, so it took a lot of snips before you could even really tell anything had happened.

I had a mullet there for a while.

My friend Peggy was horrified and tried to make me stop. "It's not too late still, Katherine!"

I made my friends take a picture of her face because it cracked me up so much.

The first clips! Thank you, Andrew, for buzzing my hair for me. :)

(Here is Andrew)

More trimming

First glimpse

Not bad

This is the ugly stage

Or would it be this?

Man, did those little hair bits itch!

I didn't know this, but you don't just clip through and have done with it. It takes several goes over to make sure you get everything. Check out that little tuft of long.

Ew, I look chewed

That's better

I remind me of a Pharaoh's son from The Ten Commandments

Friend Luke

Thank you, Shawn, for letting me use your place. Sorry I made a mess or whatever. :(

Thank you, Sam, for solidarity support. And thank you, Oliver, for pictures!

Day 6!

Now, a serious post

So I've gotten a ton of joking references to monks, saffron, robes, Halloween, etc. This naturally leads me to images currently in the news of similarly shaved Asian heads marching for justice in Myanmar. The more I read about it the more upset I am about the situation over there. I don't really know what to do about it, obviously, but...

The point of my *cough* experiment was to heighten my sensitivities, I think... toward how I perceive others, how they perceive me and to reevaluate the lens through which I view the world. It's interesting how a little bit of air on my scalp can make me so much more aware of what's going on.

The Myanmar government has decided to close off the country by "turning off the Internet," apparently.

I think the idea is that this government understands the human nature. Right now people care because they have been bombarded with images of what's happening there right now. But if the government can effectively plug the source of the "leakage" of the truth happening in the streets right now, then the rest of the world will quickly forget. We are a culture acutely attuned to immediate sensory gratification. Turn off the TV, and we forget almost immediately.

That's what they want. And that's what's probably going to happen unless we do something about it.

I've never been one of those activist kids going around door-to-door collecting pennies for trees or anything like that, but this one really touches my heart (and not just 'cuz of all the saffron jokes I've heard lately).

I've been keeping up with this story (admittedly at first for class), but since the government there "decided to shut down the Internet" to further isolate itself from public awareness, I can only imagine the despair engulfing the country right now.

What's the protest about? Myanmar recently hiked up the prices for oil and oil-related items and services in the country (formerly Burma). In a country where the annual per capita income is about $225, the daily transportation fare now costs a worker about 60% of his or her salary. In public outcry at this outrage, the monks of devoutly Buddhist Myanmar began marching through the streets last week, defying the government to ignore their protest.

Instead of paying attention, the government is shutting them up - not with hoses, like during the Civil Rights movement - but with guns.

It breaks my heart to think of so many men and women marching for the rights of their people, dying for what they stand for, serving the country in one of capacities as the "keeper of the souls" of this primarily Buddhist country. Well, let me retract that. It doesn't entirely break my heart - I think it's a beautiful ultimate sacrifice - but the goal is to show the government through their actions that what they are doing is hurting the people of Myanmar. And now the government is trying to cover up that embarrassment, not by rectifying their actions, but by shutting off outlets to the outside world and instead killing them undercover. That's horrible.

Why is the government so afraid of the Buddhist monks? Here's what the New York Times says about their actions:

AS they marched through the streets of Myanmar’s cities last week leading the biggest antigovernment protests in two decades, some barefoot monks held their begging bowls before them. But instead of asking for their daily donations of food, they held the bowls upside down, the black lacquer surfaces reflecting the light.

It was a shocking image in the devoutly Buddhist nation. The monks were refusing to receive alms from the military rulers and their families — effectively excommunicating them from the religion that is at the core of Burmese culture.

That gesture is a key to understanding the power of the rebellion that shook Myanmar last week.

The country — the former Burma — has roughly as many monks as soldiers. The military rules by force, but the monks retain ultimate moral authority. The lowliest soldier depends on them for spiritual approval, and even the highest generals have felt a need to honor the clerical establishment. They claim to rule in its name.

Begging is a ritual that expresses a profound bond between the ordinary Buddhist and the monk. “The people are feeding the monks and the monks are helping the people make merit,” said Josef Silverstein, an expert on Myanmar at Rutgers University. “When you refuse to accept, you have broken the bond that has tied them for centuries together.”

Here's an interesting comparison from that article. The military and the monkhood are technically facing off. Both are about 400,000 strong. They share a religion, these young men from the poorer classes of Burma - "brothers," the NY Times says they could well be. The dictatorship heading the military has been cut off from its spiritual and its popular base, and now it can only rely on force to maintain its power.

I posted another NY Times link last week with a quote from a young nun around my age that struck a chord with me. She said, "Perhaps we should go home. They're just going to kill us here." It saddened me deeply because if I were there I would want to comfort her, but there are no words for me to say that will contradict her in any way. Quite likely she will die, be tortured, beaten, starved in the effort of the government to silence her mute protest. She isn't wrong. She's just standing up for the rights of others.

A Japanese journalist was killed during these protests, gunned down by the military in cold blood from close range. He died with his camera in his hands. I've got another year to go before I graduate, hopefully to cover events like this at some point in my life. Would I die with my camera/pen/paper in my hands, or would I be running for cover? I can't answer that. I think I'd run.

I'm an inherently selfish person, and somehow it's easier for me to ignore the plight of others when they're far away and I'm safe and sound at home. But I cannot ignore these people - my age, my race, my looks, even (with that new hair) - who seemingly have had their last rays of hope for outside rescue denied them. Are we going to leave them hanging? Are we going to watch the government shut down communication and shrug, walk off and go watch the newest episode of "Desperate Housewives?"

I guess that's the twisted beauty of citizen journalism - there are so many images, so many independent voices swelling together to cry out for justice for these people - that even those so firmly entrenched in their self-centeredness cannot avoid the reality of it all.

Final side note: As a Christian, I personally believe the only way to heaven is through salvation in Jesus Christ. I personally believe that good deeds, no matter how sacrificial, are not enough to get a person to heaven at death. And it wrings my heart out to think that these quiet young men and women are dying by the dozen right now as I type, doing their best to live and die for others... with no reward in sight.

I know this isn't relevant to some of you who read my blog, but to me this is the saddest note of it all.

======================

Apparently on Saturday there will be a worldwide rally/protest/march going on in major cities at 12 noon. I tried to find some information on something like that in Austin but (much to my surprise) there is none planned. Weird, since there are so many of us constantly advocating and protesting in this city. Oh, well.

For those of you who generously offered to donate to my *cough cough* project a while back, I think... this one... might be the one toward which I would like to dedicate my efforts. I'll see if I can scrounge up something at some point.

After a dozen pictures, here's the most normal one

I lied. Here's the most ABnormal one.

I'm always serious, solemn and sober

Photo courtesy of Sam.







...Not.


They tell me in photojournalism school that a person's better side is the side on which they part their hair. Not having a part at the moment, you tell me which is better!




Which is scarier - the breakouts or the face?


I swear I can feel my hair grow.

I'm a bit late on yesterday's picture

Oh joy!

But instead of looking Natalie-esque I'm afraid right now I mostly look like a little military cadet who is still breaking out, because I am.

I have allergies this week, which greatly enhances my appeal.

It's a cold, harsh world

At least my scalp thinks so. Gee, it's cold in this office! My head shivereth. :( Have YOU ever gotten goose bumps on your head before?

Actually, a more optimistic way to frame my adventure thus far would be to gush about how many new sensations I have experienced. My scalp has never before had the opportunity to actually feel the nubbiness of a bath towel. It was so fantastic that I took an extra shower today. Hey, it only took 20 seconds.

So far I have garnered a lot of surreptitious stares from younger people (my age), a kind yet surprised and enthusiastic greeting from Loan, and interest from people at work. The nicest comment I've gotten so far was from Alberto at work. He's a middle-aged man of few words (to me, at least) who designs the Austin American-Statesman front page most of the days I'm here. Well, he made a point of coming up to me and saying, "I think your haircut looks just GREAT and it is wonderful." Or something like that. :) Another guy said I looked "badass," haha, and patted it appreciatively.

...The weirdest response came from Sam, who asked if he could rub his head against mine. Seriously, Sam? :D (But Sam is pretty cool still... he drove down to campus and we did bald shoots!)

Shot is courtesy of Andrew Chan, who went downtown with me this morning so we could both work on our photo assignments.

Adding more:

Haha, I lied. Not regret. Just sleepy.

My head is like Velcro when I pull clothes on and off!
And it's really cold. :( Poor head.